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A letter to the younger me

I want to take this opportunity to reassure you about something I know you are painfully unaware of right now. You are enough.

There are pros and cons to being a girl born in a society where being a dark skinned girl and thick is termed ugly, and growing up you definitely felt the expectations of a patriarchal society weighing down on you. There is an unspoken but prevailing belief that girls who are dark aren't attractive as the lighter ones. You waste too much energy berating yourself in front of the mirror. Society has fed you a warped perception of beauty—don’t let its definition convince you that you fall short of everyone else’s expectations. Stop punishing yourself with starvation diets and binge eating to mask what is really bothering you. The people who made you feel stupid and small inside were wrong. I know how much you’re hurting; you just haven’t figured out yet that inner beauty outlives physical beauty every time. The mirror is not your enemy; see yourself through your own eyes and know that others love you even though you don’t love yourself.

People will come and go out of your life. They've been brought there for a reason. For you to learn something new from the lessons. Enjoy the relationships while they are sending you over the moon. Of course, there is joy in being desired and pursued. When and if the relationship goes sour, talk about it to trusted adults and friends. Do not move hastily into the next relationship. Each failed relationship is an opportunity to learn about yourself as a woman and as a partner in a relationship. 

There will be some unimaginable losses in the years to come—don’t be afraid to face them head on. You’re going to walk through a valley of grief but you’re going to come through the other side a stronger, braver woman. You’ll need these experiences to hold up the others when life knocks them down. Not everyone who stays they love you really mean it. Others are there to use you. Do not be too naive. Stop forgiving people  who wrong you and do you dirty even after. I know you are don't get mad at people for long. But don't let them take advantage of that. You're not here to please everyone. You're not KDF mandazis 😂😂. 

Finally always keep yourself first before anyone else. Don't be a savior to everyone who comes your way, others are there to drain all your energy.  Don't ever apologize for being yourself. 

Always keep in mind SELF LOVE IS THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL. 

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