Millennials approach to Relationships

As millennials, almost 50% of us grew up knowing that, when you get into a relationship, there is no getting out no matter how toxic the relationship is. We have grown seeing our parents staying together just because of the 'kids' and this has contributed to us being termed as the relationship-phobe generation. We've grown up seeing where our parents' generation went wrong and how we create more open, successful relationships for ourselves.

We also have our approaches on relationships;

1. We believe in love

We believe in love and also believe that it grows. "By placing anybody in an opportunity where you can love that person, you will end up falling deeply with time, no matter how unimaginable it seemed to us before that," Ayton.

2. Both genders shoot their shots

Millennials would rather tell their crushes how they are feeling because most relationships never happen because someone was too shy to speak up and probably the feelings were mutual. The worst that can happen is getting turned down not death. We are trained on how to embrace the Ls we take anyway lol.

3. We believe that Fwbs ain't shit

Friends with Benefits (noun): Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved; typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.

Most of us Millennials, get themselves into FWB relationships as a away of avoiding commitments and responsibilities. However, it seems as if this arrangement is the only type of relationship there is. We view a “friends-with-benefits” relationship as a mutually enjoyable way to meet our needs. The ambiguity and unknowns assure an absence of labels, guarantee no rules and vow no commitment. In other words, anything goes.

As much as all that looks fun and not stressful, most millennials believe that that type of relationship is not worth it because a relationship that starts at no boundaries, stays at no boundaries. There is, by no means, any potential for a constructed, serious future with this partner. Once you fall into the comfort of a game with no rules, an unimpeded past-time it will stay.

Emotional involvement most of the time arises. It is hard to cease emotions, especially ones that have sexual attachment. Feelings make keeping the “it’s just sex” mindset messy and complicated and in return it can ruin your friendship because once you start having sex, it might be hard to go back to your original friendship. Some claim that it just makes their friendship closer, while others who experienced a messy ending claim their friendship will never be the same.

"There is fun in having an fwb but it is a waste of time, money and your genitals lol," says Kaduks.

4. We have built our walls so high

As much as we believe in love, most of us have built their walls so high due to the previous heartbreaks we have encountered in our previous relationships because we are afraid of catching feelings and falling and tripping then finally crushing back to the ground and getting hurt for months. This makes hard for us to let someone new in our lives even the genuine ones. This is both a blessing and a curse at the same time. Sometimes we push genuine people away because we are afraid of getting broken again.

But on the brighter side, some of ours are not so high because "when we feel like the other person sees similarity in our vibrational frequencies, they are definitely going to jump or break the wall," Says David.

5. Daddy/mommy issues affect how we view relationships.

When you grow up seeing your parents arguing in front of all your siblings and being violent and all that, there is a high possibility of you carrying that to your relationship,because according to you, that is the norm of settling disputes with your significant others.

Another perfect example, is where you find a boy having commitment issues with every girl he meets because as he was growing, he saw how his mom used to behave with different men every time, This makes the guy think that all women are the same and he wont see the point of commitments.

That's why it is always advisable to ask someone how the view relationships and marriage. This will help you both come into a common ground and make things work. It will also save you a lot of heartbreaks and dramas.

On the positive side, if you have grown in a family where, your parents still go for dates, always best friends and you find the wearing matching pajamas and going to the shop together just to buy milk and bread lol, then there is a high possibility you will also do that with your partner.

There is not one way a relationship should be, and Millennials are allowing themselves to define what it means for them. The idea is to enjoy and be happy in your relationship, however you want it to be. ~xo, Atieno Odero~