Living behind the mask (hidden depression)

Looking around you, it'll be hard to believe that people are around you are undergoing mental illness. People like to be seen like they have gotten their shit together by the society.

The truth of the matter is that those who are suffering have become pros at hiding their pain. They wear a mask that conceals their struggles from the world. From the outside they may look happy and well adjusted but behind that mask there could be a lonely, exhausted and pained individual.

Why do people like hiding behind their masks? Why do they feel it necessary their depression from the society? Most people feel embarrassed talking about their mental illness. They do not want to burden their parents and friends.

Because of lack of knowledge on mental health, most people are pros at hiding behind their masks. The society does not put mental health a priority as they do when it comes to physical health.

Mental illness is not like physical illness, where you need days off, pull yourself together to go back to your daily work life. Depression does not work like that. Because all these unrealistic expectations from the society, you find yourself hiding behind your mask.

Most people tend to suffer from depression due to emotional abuse, it is as worse as physical abuse Sometimes we get abused emotionally with the people we trust our lives with. Someone you have invested in emotionally and mentally, the small things they do to you when you argue. This fucks you up mentally. When you are not mentally okay, everything around you wont be okay. You just wake up one day feeling sad, like you do not deserve to live anymore because you are useless and no one wants you anymore. You hate every ounce of your body. It affects your schedule, your appetite, you are weak physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

Sometimes its hard to open up to someone, telling them how exactly you are feeling because you also do not know what you are feeling. You do not understand what is going through your mind, you just feel empty, drained emotionally, you do not deserve to live.

I did not want to burden anyone with whatever was on my mind. I preferred staying alone in my room, switch off my phone and cry myself to sleep. I would go days without eating and no one would notice,because I was really good at wearing a mask when I am around people. Keeping it to myself only made things worse, I wanted to end; however I carried on. It was not easy, it did not happen overnight, it required a lot of strength to fight it. I decided to start working out, which I am till now. Going to the gym has really really helped me not just physically but mentally. I am proud of the woman I am becoming, I have known the importance of self love, and putting myself first before any other person's feelings. As much as I want everyone around me to be happy,I also deserve happiness, I deserve to be loved too.

If you are finding that you live each day hiding your feelings from the rest of the world know that you're not alone. Ask yourself, are there people in my life that I can trust to confide in about my pain and hurt? Even one person in your life who you can be open and honest with about how you are truly feeling can help lift that feeling of isolation and loneliness. Staying silent with your secret can only perpetuate or worsen your symptoms or lead to suicide.

; here I am, this is me and I am stronger than you'd ever thought I'd be